Saying goodbye to my precious Sammie

Life is a gift. Only when we lose something, only we see the value of it.  Thus, i feel that it is so important to be grateful as being thankful and grateful, I can see the beauty and the goodness I have at every moment.

I am grateful that I am able to say goodbye to Sammie peacefully. On the 13th of October, which is my grandma's bday, my baby's heart stopped. Hubby was there when it happened. My heart sank so low when I heard the loud emergency alarm, I somehow know that it was from Sammie's room. A whole team of amazing doctors and nurses ran toward her and managed to resuscitate her and bring her back to life. They were just so professional, organised and they knew what they were doing. We were told that although we have managed to save her, her downtime was 5 minutes and her kidneys were not working already. If she didn't wee, she might not make it through the night.

Guess what, she did wee and poo-ed even! I remembered she opened her eyes,  moved her eyes, licked her tongue the very next day trying to tell us that she's ok. She is just so amazing.

On the 15th of October, when the doctor told us the results of the MRI of her brain, I knew that Sammie had chosen and it was time to let her go. We cried hard, when he said it out loud. It was just painful to accept this fact as I love her so much but I knew that this was coming. We decided to stop treatment as a team as it's the best for her. I felt that sense of peace that I didn't make the decision for her, she chose and I respect and honour that.

Compassion. That's what we received throughout the 5 months. I never fully understood the word until that day. We wanted to take her out to the gardens and the wonderful team at the RCH made that happen for us. Our social worker organised everything for us and our primary doctor and nurse stayed with us throughout the whole afternoon. We had professional photography done, we cleaned and bathed her, we cuddled her for very long at the garden, sang to her and said our last words. It was just perfect.

Final Goodbye:
19th October, 10am at the sunken garden, Queens Park

It was a day of tears of sadness and as well as peace. It was a day to remember and acknowledge her life and our celebrant managed to do that so well. It was the day I know that from now on, I can always choose love than fear. It was the a day we received so many kind and comforting words, hugs and support. I still have faith that joy will come. Joy is everywhere if we look hard enough.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to be there for us. You know who you are. We are just very lucky and deeply touched to get all the support. I will let the pictures tell the story.

Sharing the verse by Jim Howard:-

Where I have gone I am not so small.

My soul is as wide as the world is tall.

I have gone to answer this call,

The call of the one who takes care of us all.

Wherever you look, you will find me there,

In the heart of a rose, in the heart of a prayer.

On butterflies' wings, on wings of my own,

To you, I'm gone, but I'm never alone.

I'm over the moon, and I am home.

Love to all, peace to all, let the heart lead the way.