What you can do as a friend or relative?

(I stole this from Life's little treasures foundation website)
As a friend or relative of someone who has just experienced the birth of a premature or sick newborn, you might be unsure about how to act. Here are a few suggestions to assist you

Do’s

• Congratulate the parents on the birth of their baby. 
• Acknowledge the stress and toll Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) / Special Care Nursery (SCN) life can take.
• Offer positive comments.
• Offer to babysit siblings / Offer to pass on information to other family members.
• Cook meals for the family & help out with housework.
• Drive parents to the hospital. Parking can often be hard to find and / or expensive.
• Offer to keep parents company while they visit baby, or meet them for a meal.

Dont’s

• Avoid comparing – This may only serve to maximize a parent’s grief.
• Do not intrude / pry and avoid giving parenting advice.
• Avoid abandoning parents – Stay in touch, knowing you are thinking of them helps.
• Avoid talking about setbacks that may happen or challenges that baby may face.
• Do not expect the parents to attend family gatherings.
• Do not visit when sick.

Don’t Say to a Parent

• “Didn’t you know something was wrong”?
• “At least you get a full night’s sleep while the baby is in hospital”
• “At least you didn’t get really big and uncomfortable”
• “He / she must be in so much pain / will they be normal when they get bigger”?
• “When can I hold the baby”?
• “It must be hard to watch someone else take care of your baby”
• “How do you leave him/her there every night”?

You cannot make their baby better or take away their pain. All you can do is be supportive and understanding